Dr. Metablog

Dr. Metablog is the nom de blague of Vivian de St. Vrain, the pen name of a resident of the mountain west who writes about language, books, politics, or whatever else comes to mind. Under the name Otto Onions (Oh NIGH uns), Vivian de St. Vrain is the author of “The Big Book of False Etymologies” (Oxford, 1978) and, writing as Amber Feldhammer, is editor of the classic anthology of confessional poetry, “My Underwear” (Virago, 1997).

July 2008

  • When we arrived in West Bradford forty years ago, there were lots of cows but very few people. The main road was unpaved and aside from morning-and-evening milk trucks and the tractors pulling hay wagons, there were very few vehicles. Now, they've run electricity out Welch's old road and must have built forty new homes…

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  • I don't like gore. I’m the kind of person who won’t recklessly channel-surf for fear that the changer gizmo will maliciously lock onto our 24/7 surgery channel, where some poor soul's innards will be on garish hi-def display.  And yet, despite my squeamishness, I steeled myself and read right through to the end of Katrina…

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  • What is the absolute worst catastrophe of the Bush presidency? Choose one (or more, I guess, if you can't make up your mind) or append your very own disaster.  1.  The completely botched New Orleans mess (incompetent Bushies in critical offices, carelessness, implicit racism). 2.  The attorney-general scandal (incompetent immature Bushies in critical office, subversion…

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  • Last summer, planning to extend a flower garden, I covered a weed-choked area of about 4 feet by 10 feet with a foot high pile of dense lawn clippings.  The plan was to kill the sod by excluding the light of the sun. It's an effective, proven method  — most people use black plastic for…

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  • Nurse, how good is the anaesthetist? Does Medicare cover this procedure? Pass me the scalpel.  I mean, the scimitar. What kind of steriods is this fellow on? Let’s not ignore the 800-pound gorilla in the room. He says that his name is Dr. Bruce Banner.  Doctor, wait until you see your next patient. That’s the…

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  • Last fall, I purchased two bottlebrush buckeyes by mail order and set them temporarily in the kitchen garden.  Yesterday, I finally picked out the right spot.  I cleared some weeds, carted over a generous supply of the well-dried,  and transplanted the buckeyes into their permanent location on a slope that’s been difficult to maintain, just…

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