Dr. Metablog

Dr. Metablog is the nom de blague of Vivian de St. Vrain, the pen name of a resident of the mountain west who writes about language, books, politics, or whatever else comes to mind. Under the name Otto Onions (Oh NIGH uns), Vivian de St. Vrain is the author of “The Big Book of False Etymologies” (Oxford, 1978) and, writing as Amber Feldhammer, is editor of the classic anthology of confessional poetry, “My Underwear” (Virago, 1997).

February 2010

  • The grand-daughter, age 10, visited here last December.  She showed me her new cellphone. She was "texting" with a friend.  I asked her how she does it, and she gave me a lesson, even though she was startled and horrified, I imagine, to realize that, although an adult, I didn't know that it's one click…

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  • The hype and hoopla at sports arenas are truly deplorable, especially to aged eyes and ears. At a Washington Wizards game in DC a couple of weeks ago, members of the starting team were introduced not only with spotlights, screeching, and "music" but also with bursts from a high-powered flame thrower. Even fifty yards away, I could feel the toasty…

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  • In The Second Part of King Henry the Fourth, the Hostess (also known as Nell or Mistress Quickly) regularly makes fritters of the English language. At one point in the play, she is beside herself — apoplectic, in fact — because she believes that she has been abused by Falstaff. Reaching for words to equal…

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  • Although youngsters sometimes try to piss off their parents by inserting into their nose a modest jewel or a gold circlet, we (as a nation or as a civilization) aren't terribly enthusiastic about decorating the old schnozzola. While the English language has words for many kinds of jewelry (ring, earring, brooch, bracelet, necklace, tiara, pectoral),…

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  • When, In a Canterbury bar many years ago, I ordered a cider, the East Kent cockney bartender responded with a question that I interpreted as "strong Boer what knees?" Why would he ask me about the joints of a South African farmer? I was absolutely befuddled even when he repeated the question several times. Finally,…

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  • Everyone out there in Bloglandia has been eagerly awaiting my NBA All-Star team chosen to accord with the template, A**** A****, B**** B****, so here it is at last: Centers:  Moses Malone, Alvan Adams, Darrell Dawkins.  Forwards:  Paul Pierce, Bill Bradley, Happy Hairston, Joe Johnson, Walt Williams, Dale Davis. Guards:  Rajon Rondo, George Gervin, Gale…

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  • In the course of their long evolution our insect friends solved the problem of adolescence.While we humans grow ever so awkwardly from childhood to sexual maturity, your efficient, clever insect larva merely sequesters himself for a few weeks or months and then emerges as a completely fledged adult. No whining, no rebellion, no pimples, no…

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  • Here's verbatim quotation from the Camera, our hometown newspaper.  "Willcock [CU Buffs' trainer] said I bruised something on the side of my leg," [Alec] Burks said. "I've got real bad tendentious in my leg. He said he thought I pulled something." Nothing worse for team solidarity than a tendentious leg in constant squabble with a…

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