Dr. Metablog

Dr. Metablog is the nom de blague of Vivian de St. Vrain, the pen name of a resident of the mountain west who writes about language, books, politics, or whatever else comes to mind. Under the name Otto Onions (Oh NIGH uns), Vivian de St. Vrain is the author of “The Big Book of False Etymologies” (Oxford, 1978) and, writing as Amber Feldhammer, is editor of the classic anthology of confessional poetry, “My Underwear” (Virago, 1997).

January 2018

  • If I've offended anyone, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to; I have tremendous respect for pretty and desirable women. 10s, all of them. So let me just start by saying that many years ago, decades or centuries I can't remember exactly when, I had a thunderous crush on Io. She claims that she signaled…

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  • I am totally in love with a bit of dialogue in Dog Day Afternoon (1975), the great Sidney Lumet social drama/comedy/crime film. Sonny's plan to finance his wife Leon 's sex change operation by robbing a bank has run aground. In exchange for freeing his hostages, Sonny wants a plane to take him to a…

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  • It wasn't until I reached college that I discovered poetry. My comic-book, super-hero and baseball-infused brain was until then, poetry-wise, an almost complete tabula rasa; I say "almost" because at eight or nine eight years old I had already memorized two great classics of American literature: "Casey at the Bat" and also the poem by…

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  • Dear Talia, Oliver, Ella, Lola, Luke, Caleb, Asher:   This is a picture of my father's grandmother (that is, my great-grandmother and therefore your great-great-great grandmother) whom I can now identify as Menucha Sheindl Perelman (born Rabinovich) who died in 1908 at the age of 75 or thereabouts. She was born in the shtetl of…

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  • Italian has the ability to swallow English words whole, not even bothering to Italianize them. Here are a few examples drawn from a 2016 novel by Stefano Benni. "Freezer," as in diventa rigido come un peluche lasciato nel freezer." ("It became stiff like a stuffed animal left in the freezer.")  "I cornflakes," incorporated as a plural noun.…

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  • We binge-watched the seven-hour mini-series Godless in three marathon nights. Godless is a Western, or more exactly a fantasia on Western-movie themes and incidents. To the genre-literate, almost every plot element or character will be familiar, but shootouts and jail breaks and horse-rustling and miraculously healing bullet wounds were re-combined in ways that kept our…

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  • Unlike most sciences, where there are numerous pseudo-Greek or pseudo-Latin coinages, geology offers all sorts picturesque and lovely words that have been in the language for years  – and are novel to me. So "graywacke" –a muddy sandstone containing particles of quartz"; "fumarole" — a small vent emitting jets of steam; "sinter"  – a crust…

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  • Dear grandchildren: I once asked my father, your great-grandfather Emanuel Pearlman, where in the Ukraine we originated. He said that he was told that it was a village called (and here he used a very deep guttural initial consonant) Xhosantin-gebernya  – an answer that left me not much enlightened. If he knew more — and…

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