Dr. Metablog

Dr. Metablog is the nom de blague of Vivian de St. Vrain, the pen name of a resident of the mountain west who writes about language, books, politics, or whatever else comes to mind. Under the name Otto Onions (Oh NIGH uns), Vivian de St. Vrain is the author of “The Big Book of False Etymologies” (Oxford, 1978) and, writing as Amber Feldhammer, is editor of the classic anthology of confessional poetry, “My Underwear” (Virago, 1997).

Current Affairs

  • Friends and relations have been clamoring to know what I wore to the Oscar ceremony this year.  So here goes: My ensemble: plaid wool shirt by Woolrich; trousers by Lee ("Extreme Comfort" cut — smoky quartz color); white cotton "Gold Toe" socks by Costco; shoes by Hoka (orthopedic inserts by Dr. Scholl); leather belt by…

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  • On our prosperous Boulder Mall, where all the men are handsome, all the women are good-looking, and all the mendicants take Venmo, there are 44 separate signs that declare, No Pets. Such signs do not inhibit our infatuated dog owners, who can't bring themselves to believe that the injunction applies to their particular o so…

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  • At lunch yesterday, a friend of long standing mentioned that the conglomerate that now publishes his American politics textbook has hired a new employee, a vice-president for diversity and inclusion. It's a well-intended decision, I am sure, but it carries a potential downside. The new v-p has instructed my friend to make some changes to…

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  • It's been six years since Dr. Metablog (aka Vivian de St. Vrain, aka The Modern Nostradamus) issued a set of predictions. His last collection, from 2016, earned a score of 100% correct, when every single one of his dazzling glimpses into futurity proved to be exactly accurate. An astonishing performance!!  Which is why The Modern…

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  • Here's a Christmas-themed picture posted by United States Representative Thomas Massie of Kentucky. Note the cheerfully decorated tree behind them. Note also that each member of the shit-eating-grin faced members of the Massie family is sporting a military weapon. Massie himself, as befits the father of such a family, carries the piece of artillery that…

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  • Among my circle of friends, it is a shameful thing to be called "house proud." It's a term to be avoided, even shunned. It's competitive and flaunts the wrong values. Conspicuous consumption. Vanity. "I own a bigger house than you, and therefore I'm a better person than you."  "House pride" is a very badddd feeling…

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  • I learned what was wrong and bad in the P S 217 schoolyard. At our corner of the world, where Coney Island Avenue crossed Newkirk, the guy at the bottom of the moral barrel was the "sore loser." He was the guy who, when he missed an easy layup, always claimed, against the evidence, that…

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  • The Tampa Bay Devil Rays now claim that they won the 2020 World Series against the Dodgers — even though most of us saw the Dodgers win by a margin of 4 games to 2.  The Rays claim that in Game 5, two runs scored by Tampa Bay were nefariously credited to the Dodgers. The…

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  • For the last eleven years, I've lived in a downtown Boulder condominium. I much enjoy living here — it's age appropriate. The rooms are all on one floor; there's an elevator; underground parking for the new Subaru; no snow shoveling; hardly any upkeep. It's quiet inside and out — but right around the corner, just…

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  • The yips have been big news this week because Jose Altuve, Houston's golden-glove second baseman has made three throwing errors in two games. Glaring, costly errors. He's bounced balls to first base and to second base — throws of twenty or forty feet which he has made successfully thousands of times in his outstanding career.…

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