Reading an introductory history of Spain (I'm appallingly ignorant about the Iberian peninsula), I learned of the dark age king with the excellent name of Wifred the Hairy. Wifred stimulated me to recall other monarchs with colorful sobriquets: Vlad the Impaler, Ethelred the Unready, Ivan the Terrible, Charles the Fat, Edward the Confessor, Pippin the Short, Eric the Red, William the Conqueror, Richard the Lion-Hearted, Joanna the Mad, Suleiman the Magnificent. When my learning and memory failed, wikipedia rode to the rescue: Sviatopolk the Accursed, Ismail the Bloodthirsty, Ivailo the Cabbage, Alfonso the Chaste, Louis the Indolent, Denis the Farmer, Piero the Gouty, Fulk the Ill-tempered, Edgar the Outlaw, Louis the Pious, Eric the Priest-hater, William the Silent, Olaf the Stout, Bayezid the Thunderbolt, Garcia the Tremulous, and Alfonso the Wise. Then I thought, how sad that in this formal age of first and last names we no longer make use of such picturesque appellations. Let's return to the earlier tradition. I propose, as a start, Mel the Bigot, Mike the Ear-biter, Rush the Blowhard, George the Truculent (or George the Decider), Alberto the Forgetful, and Dick the Dick. Suggestions are very welcome. The world is all before us, where to seek.
May 15. Pauline Harlem, acclaimed author of The Joy of Anagrams, suggests these two: Woody the Perplexed and Warren the Promiscuous.
May 16. Spike Schapiro comments: "Who in the living heckola is 'Ivailo the Cabbage.' Did you make that up, Vivian? Do the rules of your game allow me to invent vegetable sobriquets? Suppose I said, 'Ivana the Beet' or 'Penelope the Melon'? Would that be amusing or pertinent? What's the deal here?
Vivian replies: Spike — Ivailo the Cabbage, King of Bulgaria, was also known as "Ivailo the Lettuce" and "Ivailo the Radish." Why would I try to deceive you? Besides, I'm not nearly so inventive. For more info, click here.
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