Dr. Metablog

Dr. Metablog is the nom de blague of Vivian de St. Vrain, the pen name of a resident of the mountain west who writes about language, books, politics, or whatever else comes to mind. Under the name Otto Onions (Oh NIGH uns), Vivian de St. Vrain is the author of “The Big Book of False Etymologies” (Oxford, 1978) and, writing as Amber Feldhammer, is editor of the classic anthology of confessional poetry, “My Underwear” (Virago, 1997).

Predictions for 2008

Diligent readers of this blague will recall that last January, I made a series of daring forecasts about the year 2007.  It’s now time to review my projections and evaluate my record.  I’m proud to say that a panel of independent experts has confirmed that I hit the jackpot.  I scored an 8 out of 8, 100%, A+.  I’m now a fully accredited prophet.

These were my 2007 predictions: 

"1)  there will be unusual weather patterns in North America;

2)  a famous Hollywood actress will sue for divorce;  moreover, another (or possibly the same) Hollywood star will become pregnant; another (or possibly the same) actress will gain and lose a great deal of weight; 

3)  a well-known athlete will be accused of taking drugs;

4)  a politician will be involved in a sex scandal;

5)  questions will be raised about America’s food supply;

6)  there will be either a monsoon, an airplane crash, or a capsized ferry in Asia–perhaps all three;

7)  there will be fluctuations in the stock market, and, finally,

8)  there will be turmoil in the Middle East."

Did I score big-time,or what?  Note especially #4.  How did I know that "wide-stance" would become a household phrase?   Boggles the imagination.  Moreover, stock market fluctuations have been greater than even I could have hoped for (same with Mideast turmoil).  Concerning athletes and drugs, just think "Barry Bonds" and "Mitchell Report."  I knocked that one out of the park.

Is everyone ready for my 2008 predictions? 

I’m staying with 1-8.  But I’m going out on a limb with #9:  "A religious leader will be involved in either a financial or a sexual scandal (perhaps both)."   And #10:  "Questions will be raised about the accuracy of the vote count."

You read it here first.  Loyal readers: check back at the end of 2008.  Let’s see if Dr. M. can top his scintillating successes of 2007. 

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