Dr. Metablog

Dr. Metablog is the nom de blague of Vivian de St. Vrain, the pen name of a resident of the mountain west who writes about language, books, politics, or whatever else comes to mind. Under the name Otto Onions (Oh NIGH uns), Vivian de St. Vrain is the author of “The Big Book of False Etymologies” (Oxford, 1978) and, writing as Amber Feldhammer, is editor of the classic anthology of confessional poetry, “My Underwear” (Virago, 1997).

Worst Nightmare Yet

I was a night game, and I was playing left field,  The batter hit a long fly my way.  I saw it clearly as it came off the bat, studied the trajectory, and knew that it was nothing more than a loud foul  –  only to hear the ball plop down not more than ten feet behind me.  The huge crowd of spectators broke into wild laughter.  Runners were circling the base paths.  I turned to run after the ball, but my feet were lead weights, perhaps because I was wearing hiking boots instead of spikes.  Eventually, I retrieved the ball and tried to hit the  cut-off man, but the ball skittered out of my hand and carried only a few feet.  The crowd laughed again, uproariously.

It was horrible. I woke up with a nosebleed.

One response to “Worst Nightmare Yet”

  1. I didn’t know you identified so closely with Manny Ramirez.

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