Dr. Metablog

Dr. Metablog is the nom de blague of Vivian de St. Vrain, the pen name of a resident of the mountain west who writes about language, books, politics, or whatever else comes to mind. Under the name Otto Onions (Oh NIGH uns), Vivian de St. Vrain is the author of “The Big Book of False Etymologies” (Oxford, 1978) and, writing as Amber Feldhammer, is editor of the classic anthology of confessional poetry, “My Underwear” (Virago, 1997).

What would prompt a guy to dream that his carrots were growing upside-down? Their abundant orange roots pointing straight into the air?  What point is my dreamatorium trying to make?  In this particular nightmare, I'm absolutely perplexed about photosynthesis. If they're upside-down, how do they..?

There's more. In the dream, my lettuce is growing right-side-up, but it's encrusted with some sort of white stuff that forms a collar around the base of the plant. 

Courageously, I taste it. It's — by gosh — feta cheese. Salty, but still quite good.

What the heck? 

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