Although youngsters sometimes try to piss off their parents by inserting into their nose a modest jewel or a gold circlet, we (as a nation or as a civilization) aren't terribly enthusiastic about decorating the old schnozzola. While the English language has words for many kinds of jewelry (ring, earring, brooch, bracelet, necklace, tiara, pectoral), it is vacant of vocabulary for objects that are affixed to or hang from the nose. Consequently, this magnificent piece of gold jewelry, crafted in Peru two thousand years ago, which certainly bore a name in proto-Quecha or whatever was spoken at the time, is now simply called a "nose ornament."
It's spectacular, isn't it? The four jolly, fat spiders in their intricate communal web of mesh are truly lovely. We moderns can't compete. We have nothing to offer.
Here's another beauty, this one from the area that is now Columbia.
This nose ornament is five inches long from top to bottom, which means that it would cover the mouth and hang well below the chin. The small gold discs and the long flattened cylinders are loosely attached, so the ornament was designed both to catch and reflect the light and to jingle. This one, like the spider ornament, is glittery, ostentatious, and unapologetic.
I imagine that like most such jewelry, these nose ornaments were designed to say, "I''m rich, I'm powerful, and I'm sexy. Come mate with me." To me, they also say, very loudly, "I can endure massive rhinal discomfort." It appears that these nose ornaments were inserted between the nostrils and attached to the septum. To wear such an ornament would be painful even if the wearer never sneezed or blew his nose, but to insert and remove it would be sheer nasal agony. Those sharp points would dig into the tender flesh. And the object must have been frequently removed, because with the ornament in place, drinking or eating would be impossibly messy. While the nose ornament might get a guy a date, it would certainly inhibit chat or flirtation, and would also become a major impediment if he got lucky.
I'm not impressed by the pitifully small nose ornaments worn by modern teenagers, but I would definitely respect the child who was willing to brandish something equivalent to these wonders. Especially the one with the spiders.
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