Dr. Metablog

Thank you, thank you. (Applause)  You're a terrific audience. (Applause).  Hey, did you see what's going on in basketball.  A Brigham Young player was thrown off the team for having pre-marital sex. (Audience groans).  No kidding.  Doesn't look good for BYU.  They got rid of the only kid on the team who could score.  (Laughter)  Wouldn't it be great if Duke played BYU in the NCAA finals?  The Blue Devils versus the Blue Balls.  (Laughter) Thank you, thank you.  Actually, the team isn't named the Blue Balls.  They're called the "Cougars."  Who would name a team "cougars?" Unless out there in Provo, Utah, they think that "cougars" means "mountain lions?"  (Knowing laughter)  Did you know that the official airline of Brigham Young is Virgin Atlantic?  (Hoots) And that Brigham Young players don't have numbers on their Jerseys;  they use letters.  The team color is scarlet.  (Audience groans). Hey, just checking — did Wilt Chamberlain go to BYU?  (Audience is mystified)   How did the coach find out about the sex?  I don't know but there's a rumor that the girlfriend, a BYU volleyball player, is pregnant.  No one knows whether she is or not,  because they can't see under her burqa. (Confusion, jeers, embarrassed tittering)  OK, we have a great show lined up. We'll be right back. (Hysterical laughter and applause)