Dr. Metablog

Dr. Metablog is the nom de blague of Vivian de St. Vrain, the pen name of a resident of the mountain west who writes about language, books, politics, or whatever else comes to mind. Under the name Otto Onions (Oh NIGH uns), Vivian de St. Vrain is the author of “The Big Book of False Etymologies” (Oxford, 1978) and, writing as Amber Feldhammer, is editor of the classic anthology of confessional poetry, “My Underwear” (Virago, 1997).

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When I Lost Respect for Authority (Another Episode)

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We were playing punchball on the PS 217 "big court." It must have been during school hours because Mrs. McGowan (a fifth grade teacher) was the umpire and the players included the entire population of the class, not just the regulars. Michael Lurie, the least athletic student in the grade, and perhaps in the entire borough, was told  to play third base, and obviously unfamiliar with the game and with Billy Cox, stationed both feet directly on the white-painted base. Someone hit (punched) the spaldeen toward him and he froze, but the ball landed precisely in his crotch, and lodged, and after a bit he found it there and held it up. We all knew that the batter was out, but Mrs. McGowan, as ignorant as Michael Lurie, shouted, "he caught it illegally" and awarded first base to the batter. I remember that several of us protested, but Mrs. Mc Gowan was adamant.
 
It was a miscarriage of justice. A violation of the rules. The umpire was incompetent. How could I ever trust authority again? 

4 responses to “When I Lost Respect for Authority (Another Episode)”

  1. Richard Mothpan Avatar
    Richard Mothpan

    Actually, recent research in nineteenth-century baseball history provides some justification for Mrs. McGowan’s call. On July 16, 1876, during the Pioneer League season, the “crotch catch” was executed by Ed “Moaner” Sonnenfeldt (also a third-baseman). According to contemporaneous accounts, the catch was made exactly as you describe, and the ball was held by the fielder in such manner for a prolonged period. The umpire ruled that the ball had thus been rendered “malodorous and unfit for further use,” and that Sonnenfeldt’s spectacular play was therefore “not a fair catch.” Sonnenfeldt’s professional baseball career was short (that one line drive was just about it) but curiously, years later he re-emerges in the world of baroque music, singing countertenor roles with the New York Pro Musica.

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  2. joyce stillman ps 217 class of 56 Avatar
    joyce stillman ps 217 class of 56

    Mrs. McGowan , on the other had, was the only teacher of my six teachers that treated me fairly, without fat, or add prejudice. In my case she was elevated to sixth grade. Mrs Horenstein (sp) was my undoing in fifth..

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  3. Don Z. Block Avatar
    Don Z. Block

    Joyce Stillman, how the hell are you? McGowan was a crusty old teacher who liked to sit on her wooden high chair and survey the class as if she were a queen. I did learn a lot in her class, though. When I realize how little my community college students know, I wish they could have been taught by a curmudgeon like McGowan. But did she make the right call on the crotch catch? Odor seems irrelevant; if Michael Lurie also became a counter tenor, that would be nice but also irrelevant. The salient question is did Michael hold on to the ball for at least two seconds after he removed it from his crotch. How long did he hold the ball up? If he did so for at least two seconds, and it seems likely that he did, then the catch was legit, and McGowan made the only mistake of her long life.

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  4. Don Z. Block Avatar
    Don Z. Block

    I have to correct Joyce Stillman, who refers to Mcgowan as Mrs. She would go to great pains to refer to herself as MISS McGowan.
    Does anyone know how she spelled her last name?

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