Dr. Metablog

Dr. Metablog is the nom de blague of Vivian de St. Vrain, the pen name of a resident of the mountain west who writes about language, books, politics, or whatever else comes to mind. Under the name Otto Onions (Oh NIGH uns), Vivian de St. Vrain is the author of “The Big Book of False Etymologies” (Oxford, 1978) and, writing as Amber Feldhammer, is editor of the classic anthology of confessional poetry, “My Underwear” (Virago, 1997).

Senior Pentathlon, or Octogenarian Olympics

In the Senior Decathlon also known as the Octogenarian Olympics, there are five events requiring different levels of agility and skill.  Events are scored both on speed (as in track) and grace (as in gymnastics). 

  1.  Getting out of bed and putting on socks.
  2.  Entering and leaving an automobile.
  3.  Rising from a kneeling position.
  4.  Driving at night.
  5.  Finding one's keys.

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