Dr. Metablog

Dr. Metablog is the nom de blague of Vivian de St. Vrain, the pen name of a resident of the mountain west who writes about language, books, politics, or whatever else comes to mind. Under the name Otto Onions (Oh NIGH uns), Vivian de St. Vrain is the author of “The Big Book of False Etymologies” (Oxford, 1978) and, writing as Amber Feldhammer, is editor of the classic anthology of confessional poetry, “My Underwear” (Virago, 1997).

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When I’m Ninety-Four

When I get older losing my mind
Just a few years from now
Will you still be sending me a Valentine
Birthday greetings bottle of wine

If I'd been out till quarter to nine
Would you lock the door
Will you still need me, or will you need to feed me
When I'm ninety-four.
 
You'll be ancient too
And if you remember me, 
I could stay with you.
 
I could be handy, sorting your pills, 
When your brains have gone
You can watch the tv by the fireside
Sunday mornings wheel in the sun. 
Sit in the garden, watching the weeds,  
Who could ask for more
Will you still need me, or will you need to feed me, 
When I'm ninety-four.
 
Yours sincerely, wasting away.

One response to “When I’m Ninety-Four”

  1. Don Z. Block Avatar
    Don Z. Block

    I think it scans. All it needs is background music, and there you have it. It should be sung quickly and with energy to create an ironic counterpoint.

    Reply

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