Dr. Metablog

Dr. Metablog is the nom de blague of Vivian de St. Vrain, the pen name of a resident of the mountain west who writes about language, books, politics, or whatever else comes to mind. Under the name Otto Onions (Oh NIGH uns), Vivian de St. Vrain is the author of “The Big Book of False Etymologies” (Oxford, 1978) and, writing as Amber Feldhammer, is editor of the classic anthology of confessional poetry, “My Underwear” (Virago, 1997).

Where Have All the Native-Born 7-Foot Centers Gone?

Just about every NBA team now has a non-native 7-foot center on its roster. What's wrong with America — can't we produce sequoia-size centers any more?  Except for Minneapolis-born Chet Holmgren, Oklahoma's incredible rookie, by jiminy they're all furriners. The last three MVPs, mirabile dictu, all big guys, originated elsewhere: Milwaukee's Giannis Antetokounmpo from Nigeria by way of Greece, Philadelphia's Joel Embiid from Yaounde, Cameroon, and Denver's Никола Јокић, more familiar to us 'Mericans as Nikola Jokic, from Sombor, Serbia. In addition, there's also awkward but effective Jonas Valanciunas on the New Orleans Pelicans, from Lithuania; GSW's Dario Saric from Croatia; Rudy Gobert, now blocking shots for Minneapolis (sharing center duties with New Jersey's big Kat) from France; Kristaps Porzingis, playing for the Boston Celtics (an exceedling lanky guy who seems to think he's a 7'3" guard) from Latvia; Chicago's Nikola Vučević, from Montenegro; Jusuf Nurkić, of the Phoenix Suns, formerly one of the "itch brothers", from Bosnia; Atlanta's Clint Capela, Swiss via Angola; Sacramento's Domantas Sabonis, who is a fine fine player but not as dominant as his father, Arvydas, from Lithuania  — alongside his backup, Alex Len from Ukraine; the Clippers Ivaca Zubac, from Croatia; Houston's multi-talented Alperen Şengün, who leads the league in unusual diacritical marks, from Turkey; Portland's Deandre Ayton from the Bahamas; Pascal Siakam, playing for Toronto from Cameroon; Goga Bitadze from the other Georgia, playing for Orlando: and of course the latest teen sensation, France's Victor Wembanyama, from France. And I've probably forgotten one or two others.

Seven foot tall American centers, where have you gone? Why and wherefore? Diet? Environmental deterioration? Genetics? Disinterest?

It's not just a passing moment. Veteran NBA fans will remember Rik Smidt, Yao Ming, Hakeem Olajuwon, Dikembe Mutombo, Dirk Nowitzki along with such off the beaten track performers as Romania's Georghe Muresan and Sudan's Manute Bol.

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