It's that time of year once again — time to get 2024 out of the starting gates with force and vigor. I'm all into self-improvement, as everyone knows. So here are my resolutions.
1). Sleep longer, and stay in bed later in the morning. No need to bounce out of bed. It's warm and cozy in there. Breakfast will wait a few minutes longer. Related resolution: take more and better naps. Nothing more pleasurable than a lie-down after a satisfying lunch.
2). Eat more ice cream. We are fortunate to live in an age of ice-cream abundance and variety. I intend to take advantage of the circumstances. And by ice cream, I mean Ice cream: no ersatz concoctions of soy, whale-oil, kefir, oatmilk, yoghurt, tofu, or coconut oil. Cream, as from a cow.
3) Walk more slowly. What's the rush? Why is everyone in such a gol-durn hurry?
4) Avoid responsibility. Let others do their share. At this point in life, there's no shame in shirking.
I hope this program is not too ambitious. I wouldn't want to fail at it and embarrass my friends and supporters. I'll do my best.
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