Dr. Metablog

Dr. Metablog is the nom de blague of Vivian de St. Vrain, the pen name of a resident of the mountain west who writes about language, books, politics, or whatever else comes to mind. Under the name Otto Onions (Oh NIGH uns), Vivian de St. Vrain is the author of “The Big Book of False Etymologies” (Oxford, 1978) and, writing as Amber Feldhammer, is editor of the classic anthology of confessional poetry, “My Underwear” (Virago, 1997).

Today Let Us Celebrate the Blanket

What an excellent invention! Imagine life without the blanket. At night, we'd still be keeping warm with hay and leaves. Yeesh, defective insulation. Hay and hayseeds in our noses and mouths. Leaves, leaflets, thick main ribs and petioles poking and imprinting our skin. Constant renewal problems: "Have remembered to fetch the hay for tonight yet?" Cleanliness problems — small insects in the hay and leaves, however carefully processed. And then frequent trips to "Hay and Leaves" — the chain of stores that dominates the market. "Do you know what they're asking this year for a half bale of leaves?"

When we pull that luxurious blanket over our shoulders, do we remember to thank the inventor or inventors of the cotton or woolen blanket?  Are we sufficiently appreciative of the luxury in which we live?

Coming soon: National Pillow Day.  

2 responses to “Today Let Us Celebrate the Blanket”

  1. Mary K. Wakeman Avatar

    …animal skins?

  2. On National Pillow Day and before National Pillow Day and after National Pillow Day, let us boycott My Pillow.

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