Sports
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In the Senior Decathlon also known as the Octogenarian Olympics, there are five events requiring different levels of agility and skill. Events are scored both on speed (as in track) and grace (as in gymnastics). Getting out of bed and putting on socks. Entering and leaving an automobile. Rising from a kneeling position. Driving at…
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Approaching 80, I've been studying the Brooklyn Eagle for the date of my birth, March 11, 1939. "War and war's alarms" dominate the news, but nevertheless day-to-day life in Brooklyn was reassuringly perennial. Here's a highlight from the Around the Town column: "One of the features at the Montauk Club's 50th anniversary dinner tonight…
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In 1975, Leo Durocher wrote an as-told-to autobiography called Nice Guys Finish Last. I read every word of it, but I got to tell you, it's not a good book. It's a piece of self-justifying pro-Durocher propaganda. It's argumentative, hyperbolic, unreliable. Durocher was an irascible man: he got into fights with sportswriters, players, umpires, owners,…
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Two nights ago [this would be October of 2009, of course], I watched the Phillies trounce the Dodgers, 11-0. What a colossal drubbing! HDTV let me appreciate Cliff Lee's southpaw masterpiece in exquisite detail. But for me the most memorable moment of the evening wasn't Lee's artistry or 270-pound Ryan Howard's mad-dash triple to right.…
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1958: First batter of the game is Smith. He's batting .278. First pitch is a ball. Smith is 5'9", 155 pounds. Married, two children, makes his winter home in Fort Smith, Arkansas. Sells tractors in the off-season. Good curve ball hitter. 2018: First batter is Smith. He's batting .278. His slugging percentage is .342. His…
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Judging from his spectacularly wonderful name you might guess that Bacchus Pederson is either a character in a novel by Thomas Pynchon or the son of a Swedish father and a patriotic Greek mother. Not so. He's the creation not of eccentric parents or postmodern fiction the but of the voice recognition system that's been…
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Now that we've at last come to the NBA playoffs and are heading toward another Warriors-Cavaliers showdown, it's fitting that we reflect on basketball jargon, which is distinguished by its many colorful monosyllables: hoops, hops, bigs, stuff, slam, jam, slash, dish, board, glass, dunk, pick, screen, paint, lane, point, wing, trey, rim, post, trap, "D", roll, box,…
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A surprising number of current NBA players take the floor with their names reversed: first name for surname, surname for first. The king of this confusion is LeBron James, who in any sensible universe would be named James LeBron. And then there's the budding star Nerlens Noel. Who can possibly doubt that Nerlens Noel is a copy editor's error for Nerlens,…
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If you listen to the announcers of the NBA games, basketball players defy the laws and logic of physics. They "create space." One of the greatest space-creators was Shaquille O. Others merely imitate his technique. His most characteristic play was to drive his massive left shoulder into the chest of the defender, knocking him backwards a couple…
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Netherlands-Argentina was exciting and rather beautiful until it went to penalty kicks. What a foolish way to find a winner! It's as if, in basketball, tie games led to a foul-shooting contest, or if, in baseball, instead of extra innings they started hitting fungoes for distance. Soccer travesties itself by resorting to penalty kicks. A better solution: play…